Burn, Baby, Burn!

Luxury homes are lots of fun to inspect. Sure,"plum" with "eggshell". Their best guess was that
the pay is better too, but mostly it's just fun tothree coats would do it; I was betting on five!
see how the other half lives! I also get to meetAs is always the protocol, all the lights, appliances,
those people who have reached such a level ofand heating were turned on for the home
financial success that they are buying a homeinspection. My company calls this our "Super Bowl"
that seems like it could have been a boardingcheck. Seems that the greatest stresses a home
school!undergoes is during the Super Bowl. There are
One of the fun aspects of inspecting large andusually dozens of people around, all of whom are
expensive homes is seeing furnishing and interiorusing multiple televisions, cooking, washing,
design work at the highest level. Unfortunately,showering, and consuming every possible stitch of
that high level does not always translate toelectricity. And all of this is going on simultaneously!
attractive! Good-sized decorating budgets doesIf the systems continue to work during the Super
not always mean good taste. One such mansionBowl, they will work fine during routine family use,
sticks always in my mind.or so the theory goes.
Among the oldest and most prestigious sectionsSo, while zipping about the house checking here
of Jacksonville, Florida is Ortega. Situated along aand checking there, one of the painters called out
wide expanse of the St. Johns River with athat he smelled smoke! If the home catches on
fabulous view of the downtown skyline is Ortegafire during the Super Bowl that is most certainly a
Boulevard. In our fair town, that address spellspenalty.
success!Upon my arrival to the electrical panel, I smelled
It is always a thrill to inspect on Ortega Boulevard.heat and burning wire. I then ran to the exterior
The homes were built during the 1920's and 30'sto disconnect power at the switch adjacent to
by the business and political leaders of the time. Inthe meter, which was on fire! I told the real
a state not known for architecture, homes onestate agent to call the fire department while I
Ortega Boulevard can be compared proudly withsecured the power to the home. Things were
any in America. But that does not mean thatgoing to be fine.
some folks don't commit creative crimes in theTo my surprise and confusion, she became upset
decorating department!with me for securing power to the home. When I
The listing agent was thrilled to have this home asasked her why she is upset that I had secured
the corner piece of an envious listing portfolio. Onepower to the burning electrical panel, she
point, though, kept coming up in comments madeexclaimed, "Wally, if you turn off the power, the
by would-be buyers after being shown thepainters won't be finished today!" I reminded her
beautiful home. The plum-painted walls on nearlythat if the home continued to burn, it wouldn't
the entire first floor made the interior look like theneed paint!
set from the old "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In"The old adage "when you're surrounded by
television show! This simply had to be correctedalligators, sometimes it's hard to remember that
to attract a buyer to the home.you came here to drain the swamp" must have
Upon arrival at the home, I parked behind thebeen coined by a guy who was working for a real
painter's truck. When I went into the home, aestate agent in Florida.
team of painters was busy working to cover