| Most of the verbal communicating you do is from | | | | was to address was in Columbus, Georgia. If |
| one individual to another. This is true whether | | | | someone in my hometown of High Point, North |
| you're in a family, social, or a work | | | | Carolina asks me, "How did Carolina do in the big |
| setting.One-on-one verbal communication affords | | | | game last night?" I know the reference is to the |
| the greatest opportunity for precision, because | | | | Tar Heels of the University of North Carolina. If |
| immediate feedback can tell you whether you | | | | somebody in Columbia puts the question in those |
| were understood accurately.But communicating | | | | precise words, I know that "Carolina" means the |
| effectively involves more than just accuracy.The | | | | Gamecocks of the University of South Carolina. In |
| purpose of most communication is to influence | | | | most cities, if you ask a newsstand operator for |
| the attitudes and behaviors of those whom we | | | | the Sunday Times, you'll be handed a New York |
| address. Since the human race is composed of | | | | Times. But in St. Petersburg, Florida, or Seattle, |
| billions of individuals, each with a different way of | | | | Washington, you're likely to get the local |
| responding, no one approach is universally | | | | newspaper.A Message Must Be ReceivedThe |
| effective. So it's important that you learn to | | | | second basic requirement of the one-on-one |
| express yourself accurately and in a way that will | | | | communication process is that the message be |
| accomplish your purpose toward the individual | | | | received and understood. Effective |
| you're addressing.The Basic Process of | | | | communicators know that they have not |
| CommunicatingTo achieve precision and | | | | conveyed their meaning until they have made |
| effectiveness in communicating, you should | | | | sure that the other person has received it exactly |
| understand the basic process of communication. It | | | | as they sent it. They test, with questions and |
| has four requirements:¨ A message must be | | | | observations, to make sure that the real meaning |
| conveyed.¨ The message must be | | | | they wanted to convey has passed through the |
| received.¨ There must be a response.¨ | | | | filters and has been received and |
| Each message must be understood.Let's look at | | | | understood.There Must Be A ResponseThe goal |
| these requirements one at a time.A Message | | | | of all communication is to obtain the desired |
| Must Be ConveyedThat sounds simple enough. | | | | response. You want to say something correctly, |
| You know what your thoughts are, and you | | | | and have your hearer understand what you mean |
| know how to translate them into words. But | | | | by it. But you also want the hearer to do |
| that's where we lose the simplicity.Each of us has | | | | something in response.Each Message Must Be |
| our own mental dialect. It is the common language | | | | UnderstoodOnce a message has been delivered, |
| of the culture in which we grow up, modified by | | | | received and responded to, it's time to take stock |
| our own unique life's experiences. Our life's | | | | of what each person has communicated. The |
| experiences add color and shades of meaning to | | | | cycle of communication is complete only when |
| different words.When you speak, your mental | | | | you come away with a clearer understanding of |
| dialect must be translated into the mental dialect | | | | the person with whom you sought to |
| of the hearer. So the words you speak acquire a | | | | communicate. You may not always agree with |
| different color when they pass through the ears | | | | the other person, and the other person may not |
| of the person who hears you.It Depends Upon | | | | always agree with you -- but it is important that |
| Where You AreYou can probably think of | | | | you understand each other.Nido Qubein is |
| numerous opportunities for misunderstandings on | | | | president of High Point University and chairman of |
| your job and in your culture. If you tell your travel | | | | Great Harvest Bread Company with 200 stores in |
| agent you want a flight to Portland, be sure to | | | | 41 states. He has given more than 5,000 |
| specify Maine or Oregon. Otherwise, you may end | | | | presentations to audiences worldwide and has |
| up on the wrong coast. A colleague of mine once | | | | authored more than two dozen books and audio |
| flew to Ohio to keep a speaking engagement in | | | | programs on leadership, sales, communication, and |
| Columbus. Too late, he realized that the group he | | | | achievement. |